I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
