oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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