Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize