Porn is love you can see.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
