farters have to be the big spoon...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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