Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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