thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
