I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
