just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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