what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
