I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
