Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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