oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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