we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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