Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
