Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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