And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
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Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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