I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
