White coat. Heels.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
