I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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