I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think my moral compass just broke
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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