her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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