mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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