You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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