You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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