oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
