puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
