No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.