Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
