New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch