Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth