I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT