ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
