it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
