I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
