did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
