Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize