No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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