I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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