whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
