420 ftw
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
