when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
