I skipped work to stalk him.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize