apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You need a sexual gate keeper
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
