Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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