Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize