I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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