Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize