just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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