We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize