He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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