I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We talked him into tasing himself.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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