Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
