And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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