just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize