If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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