I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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