I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
your room smells of hookers.
And success
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
