have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
