The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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