he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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