Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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