And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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