Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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