I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
