I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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