How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
