these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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