He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I am midnight drunk by noon
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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