haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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